Beach Bums

Today was fun but exhausting. My friend S and I took her kids out to the lake where we hung out at the beach and played some mini golf. We even stopped by a waterfall and a playground on the way home. B was hilarious at mini golf. I'm sure if there were other people on the course we would have been thrown out! His "putt" resembled more of an attack than an actual putt. He just loved chasing that ball around with his putter and when he got tired of trying he would pick it up and put it in the hole. I followed his lead after awhile: forgot how bad I am at mini golf. I just have to say kids tire me out! I don't now how S does it all day every day. I'm just beat! But they sure are cute.

June?

It's June. When did that happen?

This year is flying by. Maybe it's because I'm constantly busy. Between working and making time for my friends/family I hardly have time for sleeping! It's hard and leaves me exhausted but I think it's worth it. I laughed recently when somebody told me about this person who doesn't have time for anyone because they only have one day off a week. I have had 2 days off in the last 32 days. I still try and see my friends. I still make time for my family. Yes I'm tired, but I am happy.

My friend M is coming this weekend from Alberta and I'm super excited! I'm working 2-10's all weekend but we'll work in lunch and socializing around that. Her niece (this one) is turning 1 next week. It seems like it was just the other day we were all waiting around for her to make her appearance and now she's one! It's crazy.

I can't believe all the people popping out babies these days. I feel like I missed the memo about producing offspring! My friend S and I were joking the other night that we're going to be sending her first born (who is 5) off to college while I'm shopping for maternity clothes. At the rate I'm moving it's not too far fetched! My mom has begun talking about adopting grandchildren since every one of her 4 children is single. She's so funny. I just am not ready to get on that boat yet! I can't even find a guy I like enough to even bother calling let alone have a baby with! I've got time and other priorities at the moment. Like sleep. And getting through this summer.

Sanity is not necessary for survival, right?

Getting out of the house

I am so tired. For the last two weeks I've basically done nothing but work. Yesterday I finally got out of the house for something else and it felt great!

First stop was the health unit to get my test for TB for school. I have to go back tomorrow before I leave for my trip to get it checked. Then I must remember to put my results in the mail because they're due next week and I'm gone for the rest of this week! I think this is the last thing I have to submit to school before my conditional acceptance turns into just an acceptance. Woot!

While I was getting injected, I got a message from my buddy G who was in town for the day and wanted to hang out. We ended up going for some food and then to a movie. By the way the little boy in Valen.tine's Day is THE CUTEST THING EVER. I just want to squish him. After that I went with my friend S to the pool for some swimming and some hot tubbing. I didn't get home until almost 10. I then proceeded to geek out and watch some I.max movies on space that my parents got us for Christmas. I've always thought it would be wicked awesome to be an astronaut. Oh and I finished knitting another square! I swear I'm going to be 30 by the time I get this blanket done.

Today I have to pack for my trip, make sure my car has everything it needs (oil, washerfluid, air in the tires), go to work (uggh.), come home and watch the bachelor with my mom (we taped it last night) and get some sleep! Tomorrow I leave for the Kootneys for 4 days! Yay roadtrip!

How I like to start my day

Wake up#1 [8:05am]: Wake up to discover my 80 pound dog on top of me on my bed. Apparently the door to my room wasn't 100% closed and he decided he needed to go outside and this was the best way to accomplish that. Need I mention that my parents and brother had left for work probably less than 15 mins before the incident and had been awake and downstairs for up to 2 hours before that? Could he not have gone out then!? Also discover at this point that I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Major swollen glands, stuffed nose, and general feeling of crap. Awesome.

Wake up #2 [9:29am]: My phone was ringing, and I discover my brother on the other end needing some pictures off the computer. Apparently my dad had downloaded them and then deleted them off the camera. Not aware was my brother who had brought the camera with him to work. So after about half an hour, a useless phonecall to my dad (his phone is here beside me), and 2 computers later, I found them hidden on an external harddrive I found lying beside computer #2. Add about another half hour of trying to email the files, only to discover my email had resized them and they arrived minute. Attempt number two led to the discovery that I would have to send them 2 files at a time, leading to the suggestion of me driving the hard drive accross town to him at work. By then the class he needed them for was over and we decided to just leave it for the day.

FML.

and time goes by...

I seriously need to put more effort into this blog! I guess I just feel like I have nothing interesting to talk about, so why bother? I find this when I go out with my friends, or run into people I know and they ask me how I'm doing and what's new in my life. I go to work, I come home, I go out for drinks/dinner some nights. But basically it's a big fat nothing. I'm not in school right now. I'm working at the same job I have been at for over a year. I'm not seeing anyone. I'm not going anywhere on vacation ... etc, etc. Life is kind of at a stand still.

Today I went out for lunch with a friend, washed my car, and soon I'm going out for an early dinner with some of the girls from work. It's M's last day and she's not old enough to go to a pub afterwards, so early dinner it is! I might have to go to the pub after by myself! Work on tuesdays is horrible. I hate it. I woke up today feeling miserable that I had to go at all. I know it's time for a new job but part of me wants to stick it out for at least another month because it's easy to get time off and I want to go on a little road trip with my friend S at the end of February. I can find a new job after that.

Hopefully.

Bullet notes

Been awhile since I did a real update on here.

• My summer has been pretty uneventful so far. It seems like my days consist of work, movie watching, knitting, and pool time (when the sun is out). I have plans next weekend that consist of a day in Kelowna and a trip to the spa. I'm excited for the break in routine. My days have gotten pretty predictable. I'd like a bit more spontaneity in my life.

• Yesterday my mom and I moved the furniture around in my room. I've had it laid out the same way pretty much since we moved here 13 years ago. It's a nice change without too much effort involved. I still have some boxes to go through before that room is totally in order, but it is getting there! I thought it would take me a couple of days, yet here I am 2-3 months later, still hacking away at it! I'm not sure if it's the vast amount of work involved, or the turtle pace I'm working it. Combination?

• My glasses are fixed. I was able to pick up my new frames the other day. It's nice to not have to worry about them breaking every time I take them off. My darling mother has also offered to pay for contacts for me, so I have an appointment next week to get my eyes measured.

That about sums it up. Tune in next week.

Eye Troubles

I went to get my eyes checked this morning. I was hoping to get contacts but then I realized I can't really afford to do that right now. My prescription is about the same, so I was going to hang on to my glasses for now until I start working full time again in January.

My frames were a little bent so one of the ladies were going to straighten them out for me. Well somehow my frames ended up exploding and they had to order me in new ones. In the meantime they soldered my old ones back together. I'm supposed to be very careful taking them on and off! I forgot to ask how long I was going to have to wait for the new ones to come in. I'm guessing a couple of days.

On the bright side, they're not really bent anymore!

Love Story meets Viva La Vida - Piano Cello - by Jon Schmidt

I stumbled upon this and thought I would share. I wish I could play the piano like that!

Nothing really going on today. I don't have school on Fridays but I do have to work later. I have a couple labs to finish up, and some laundry to do. I'm almost done my summer course. Two more weeks!

Summer School Begins

My quick break has ended and I am back in school.

Bad points:

- class is at 830 every morning
- my lab partner appears useless

Good points:
- I have the afternoons off to enjoy the sun (if it ever comes back out)
- I love my prof

My prof is hilarious. This is one class I will not be bored in, which is good since I'm in it 3 hours a day, 4 days a week.

Two things he said we have an open invitation for:
1) if we have the desire, we can go up and teach the class
2) if we have done something good, we can share with the class and receive a standing ovation. For example if we manage to bake something without burning it to a crisp, he says that is an achievement that one should receive recognition for.

Getting Things Done

I feel like I got a lot accomplished this morning. I sold back some textbooks (for not nearly as much as I bought them for), went downtown and got my passport application approved and sent out, got my dad a birthday card and my mom's mothers day present/card. All in the span of an hour and a half. I forgot one place I wanted to stop but it's something I can do another day.

I'm house sitting this weekend. Maybe I'll actually get some studying done without all the distractions in my own house. Who am I kidding, there's TV and internet over there. I'm screwed no matter what. My exam Monday night is one of my harder ones. Lots of information and not a lot of room for bullshitting. Yay for science!

Too bad I can't nap at school

The only thing I had to do today was go to school. Oh and finish an assignment. But that's it. No work, no other plans. Just school.

My mom woke me up today, because the power had gone off during the night and she knew none of our alarms were going to go off. I always set my cellphone alarm, and don't rely on my clock because of this exact reason. Except last night, like a fool, I set it for 7pm and would have slept through my class. I guess it's good the power went out, or else my mom wouldn't have woken me up!

I chose to get a ride with big bro, instead of taking the bus. They left at about the same time, but obviously big bro got me to school earlier then the bus. Either way I would have been at school way early. I decided to grab some breakfast, where I discovered my bank card was missing!! (turns out I left it in the car) Yay for credit.

Class was pretty uneventful, and afterward I met up with my friend H and we caught the bus together. She ended up missing her transfer, and my bus wasn't for half an hour so we went across the street to Timmys for some lunch. I told her I would buy because she was having a bad day. So much for my treat. It turned into her treat because as it turns out, they don't accept V.isa at Timmys! (and my bank card was still mia at this point). Pretty ridiculous. It's like places that don't have debit machines. Get with the times people. Crawl out of the dark ages. V.isa is not some little podunk credit company. They're a pretty big name. Yet apparently, not accepted everywhere! Lovely.

I was exhausted by the time I got home (I just can't seem to get enough sleep!), so I had a nap on the couch. It was great until my dog decided to climb up on top of me (by the way, not a tiny dog), and start licking my face. Not the kind of action I was looking for, to be honest. He really just wanted to be let outside, which annoyed me when I discovered my brother in the other room, wide awake and watching the TV. Why didn't the dog bother him!? I guess my dog just didn't trust him to open the door properly. Or something. Bah humbug.

Tonight I'm finishing assignment #2 for the class of death, having a long hot bath, and then I'm going to go to bed early! That's the plan anyways. I'll be lucky if I get the first task accomplished.

It tastes bitter...

I'm tired. I set my alarm for an unearthly hour this morning only to realize, once I woke up, that I didn't have to be awake for another 2 hours. Boo on that. And no, I couldn't get back to sleep. Figures.

Today I have one morning class, a 6 hour break, and then my night class. This was the class that was canceled last week, so hopefully my prof is feeling better and we can get this show on the road. What I really want to know is what kind of assignments I have and how the heck I'm going to fit them into my schedule. (By the way 1 assignment down, 21 to go for the class that is trying to end my life prematurely.)

I feel completely overwhelmed, and the second week has barely started. Whenever I think about school, my stomach twists it knots and I start to sweat. I have never felt this much anxiety about school before. And this doesn't even come close to the hardest course load I've had. I guess it all comes down to my state of mind. I usually start a semester with an open mind, and no worries. This semester I felt the walls caving in before I even set foot on the property.

By the way, couples that hold each others hands every second, and don't even let go when paying for something, make me want to vomit. And for the ones making out in front of me in the lineup: It's really great you're all in love and stuff but it won't kill you to take your tongues out of each others throats for 2 seconds while in public. It honestly won't.

Bitter? Me? Neeeeever.

I want my strawberry.

I seem to be going through 3 different phases.

Phase 1: Being mad at J. In this phase I think of every thing that annoyed me about him, and every reason why I can't be with him.

Phase 2: Missing J. In this phase I think of all the good times, and how much I still care about him.

Phase 3: Indifferent. In this phase I don't even think about him. At all.

I don't spend more time in one or the other. They seem to just alternate days. It's kind of weird. I didn't go through this with The Ex. I just went from liking him, to realizing I didn't anymore. Sure there was anger and missing him, but it didn't switch on a daily basis. It was more a gradual slide from one thing to another.

I wasn't thinking about him at all today, until a co-worker asked if I had a "boy toy" to go to a movie with. Then phase 1 set in. Even when we were together, those last few months he wasn't around to do things like that with. I knew what I was getting into when he told me he was taking that job, but I guess I didn't realize how alone I would be. Especially since he hates using the phone, and they have no internet out there. I should have known what was going to happen. But I guess I have learned from the experience, and have figured out what else I want out of a relationship.

One of my friends refers to guys in terms of vanilla and chocolate. Vanilla boys are good boys, easy to figure out, and set in their ways. Chocolate boys are wild, full of surprises, and not good for you (but you want them anyways!). The ex was vanilla. In many ways he was a challenge, but overall pretty vanilla. J was chocolate. What I need is the mixture. The compromise. Something not as daring as chocolate, but not as simple as vanilla. What I need is the strawberry!

Looking for a strawberry. Do I sound crazy to anybody else?

Christmas Countdown

I've had the past two days off work (today and yesterday) and I feel like I've actually done a lot. My laundry has been done, I did a major purge on my closet, cleaned up my room (mostly), I did some Wi.i Fit (wow am I not in shape), went to the pool with some friends, completed a puzzle, and tonight I'm going out for dinner. One problem about meeting other people for dinner is that I'm hungry now, but I have to wait an hour before I get to eat! Boo on that.

I have to work Christmas. This is the first year any family member of mine has had to work on Christmas. Lucky me eh? I'm not worried about it because I don't start until 3. Everything happens in the morning anyways, except for dinner which we are moving to lunch time. I'm more excited to have New Years off! I don't have any plans yet, just a bunch of people who want to hang out. We'll find something to do!

Christmas is in 2 more sleeps! I'm actually getting kind of excited for it. Who would have thought? Although I'm pretty sure the brother who pulled my name still hasn't gone shopping yet. He better get his butt in gear or I'm taking his present back! (aka keeping it for myself)

And then there are good days

Today has been a good day. I went and picked up my package that I missed being delivered yesterday by 10 minutes (damn that to hell!). There was no lineup, and I was in and out in 2 minutes. Afterwards I went to work and I got to go home early because we were slow because of the snow. I am not the type of person that takes great pleasure in finishing out their shift. Need someone to go home? I am the first one volunteering! Especially when it's snowing. Now I'm listening to Christmas music and wrapping some presents. Oh and when I got home I had TWO PIECES OF MAIL. Real mail. Like the kind you actually want. One was a Christmas letter, and the other was just an everyday card from one of my friends who knows I've been having a rough time. It was really nice to come home to.

I just looked at my countdown and it says there is less then 2 weeks until Christmas! Yikes! That was fast.

Sad

I've started this post a number of times, and still can't figure out what I want to say.

I guess to sum it up, I'm sad. And I'm sad about a lot of things. I can't seem to stop feeling sorry for myself. I know I'm really lucky, and lead a fairly easy life. But lately I've spent a lot of time thinking about everything bad that has happened. I think about it so much that I'm sure I've started to make up things in order to make myself feel worse. I know it's all in my head.

I feel like I've dug myself a hole, and now I'm not sure how to get out of it.
I feel like I'm staring at all of the pieces but can't figure out how to make a ladder.
I feel like I should know how to do it, and I'm frustrated that I can't.
I feel like everybody else is staring at me, wondering when I'm going to get it together.

If she doesn't scare you...

At work tonight I saw the real life version of Cru.ella de Vil. She had a long angular face, big crazy hair, and the most enormous fur jacket I have ever seen. And I'm pretty sure she was intoxicated. It's an interesting thing, working with the public. You just never know who/what you're going to encounter!

My feet hurt. There once was a time where I could stand on them for a whole day without a second thought. However, those days are gone! I'm sure they will return, but for now I am sitting with my feet up and seriously considering hunting down the foot bath and lathering on generous amounts of peppermint lotion. Yes, it's the middle of the night. No, I don't care.

Tomorrow I have lunch plans with J (that is some serious devotion on his part, getting up for me before 3!) at our new favourite restaurant. It's an all you can eat Mongolian grill and it's quite delicious. And filling. The last time we went I felt I didn't need to eat again for a week. MMM! I'm excited just thinking about it. :)

TGIF!

Well, waffle night was a complete success! They were so yummy, and most importantly they looked like waffles! I'm so good at making dinner, I should do it more often. But then again I'm sure people would get sick of Grilled Cheese and Prego Spaghetti (my specialties). I need to learn how to cook for reals!

J called me yesterday, and he might get to come home early! Yay! But then he told he's probably going to the Island to try his hand at surfing. Boo! Hopefully he's not planning on being away his whole time off. I didn't think of asking. I'll probably hear from him later today, and I'll have to inquire.

I have a breakfast date this morning, and a dinner date tonight. I just have to find myself a lunch date, and I won't have to feed myself once!

Don't make me resort to cleaning

I am going stir crazy. I have a 2 week vacation from work . That normally would be nice except I did not ask for it. I have no money, no vehicle, and nobody to hang out with except Mac (my dog). I bought the first season of Sex and the City, thinking it would help me pass the time. I did not realize the whole season would only last me 6 hours. I should have picked a series with more then 6 seasons.

I invited a bunch of people over to go swimming tomorrow. I thought, hey now I will have people to hang out with me! Wrong! Every single person is either A) working, or B) out of town. I have two people who might be coming after work (around dinnertime). So much for having companions! I couldn't even pay for somebody to hang out with me this week!

This morning I talked to my friend S who is stationed in Afghanistan. He's coming home in about a month and a half and I couldn't be more excited! We are going to get our serious drink on. I'm kind of going to miss writing to him. Where else do I get to ramble without anyone interrupting me (oh right. here!)

In other news, I made nice with J. After declining his calls for most of the day, I finally answered and gave him a piece of my mind. I explained how close I was to calling it quits. I put up with it for a long time and that was just the last straw. He used the lame excuse of not having his phone on him. I explained that if he wants to keep me around he will find any phone and let me know what is going on and explain to me why I am sitting at home waiting for him. I told him I didn't think he had any respect for me, nor did I think he cared if we were together or not. He had gone as far to show me that his buddy's relationship was more important to him then ours.

He apologized and told me I was important to him and that he would never do it again. I'll believe it when I see it. It doesn't matter what a person says if their actions don't reflect it. I sure as hell was not getting the impression that I meant anything to him. The last couple of days he has messaged me from work and has called me just to let me know what he was up to (which he never used to do). We'll see how long this revelation of his lasts.

I'm playing nice but I'm not holding my breath.