How the heck is it December already?
Needless to say, this year has flown by! I can't say that the year has been full of crazy events, but day to day I've been pretty busy between work and school.
It's the last week of classes. I have quiz tomorrow, and then my final exam next Thursday. I'm not looking forward to this final AT ALL. The midterm did me in as far as acing this course, but I can still walk away with a decent mark if I study study study. So final exam, and then what? Well, I'm still waiting to hear from OC about getting into the TA program. If that happens I'll find a second job and hope to earn the moola to pay for this endeavor. If that doesn't happen, well, we'll cross that bridge if it comes. I don't really have a backup plan!
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Some thoughts about what's going to happen in the future, but mostly about what's happening right now. There's some family stuff happening right now that's really got me thinking about relationships and ties. Bear with me, as I haven't really thought this out on paper (err...screen) yet! Basically what I've come up with is that family and blood ties basically mean nothing if you're not willing to put in the effort. I think that just because you are "family" doesn't mean you can treat people like crap just because they're "required" to love you. I don't think you're required to love anybody. It's not love if you despise a person. It's not love if you don't respect a person. It's not love if you do hurtful things towards a person. Why not just call it what it is? It sure isn't love.
I think more often it is your friends that become your "family" as you get older. These are the people you choose to make an effort to hang out with. Even then, your "family" will change through the years as people's priorities change, people move, or you just loose touch. What should be important is enjoying the time you have together, and making a conscious effort not to make each others lives miserable! I don't want to be surrounded by negative people anymore. I'm tired of it. It's not worth it. I need to learn to let some of my relationships go. Life is short and I want mine to be happy!