Stressball

I haven't been sleeping well the past few nights. I toss and turn, lie awake for hours, and wake up way too early. This tends to happen when I'm stressed out. This morning after a strange dream involving vampires and wizards who could transform into werewolves (yes I'm reading H.P. and yes T.lite is still at the theater), I decided to give up on trying to sleep and laid in my bed thinking/stressing. Today's topic: moving. I have never lived on my own. I haven't lived in a different house since I was 10. I only know one person in Kelowna. Everybody says you adjust really fast and because I'm at school making friends will be easy. And I know they're all right. But it doesn't stop me from freaking out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited. I'm glad I'm doing it. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around actually doing it. I'm not really the type to venture out on my own and explore new worlds (yes I just recently watch S.trek). It amazes me that I planned this at all. In some ways I'm very independent, but in others I'm very much a follower. I like having someone else make the plans and to be there with me to carry them out.

This makes me think of something my mom has always said. Be happy with yourself first because you're the one you're stuck with for the rest of your life. She means this in terms of relationships but it works for this too. Nobody else can do this for me. I'm stuck doing it myself. With myself. By myself. For myself.

Time to throw on my big girl panties.

Time sure is flying...

I'm tired.

I've been having dreams lately where I have been running around performing tasks or playing superhero, and I having been waking up exhausted. I'm always way more tired when I wake up, then when I go to bed. I must flail in my sleep and tucker myself out.

J was here last week, but left on Tuesday back for Alberta. I worked most of the time he was here, but we did get to spend all of Sunday together. I've decided I really don't like having him away for 2 weeks at a time. I know I'm lucky he isn't gone for months at a time, but I'm still going to grumble about it.

It's my brother's birthday on Monday. I think we're going to go golfing (the other brothers might join us) before we go out with our parents for dinner. We haven't had a big family dinner in awhile. Should be fun. It also means my birthday is right around the corner! Yay!

In exciting news my friend is due home from Afghanistan on Tuesday! I believe he's already in Canada, but he has to drive him car home across the country. I'm going to be so happy to see him. I've promised him a night of drinking, and drink we will! After I scream his head off and give him a big fat hug of course!