Happy Valentines Day

...or Singles Awareness Day.

I have never had a problem with Valentines Day. When I was single it never bothered me, and it was just another day with a lot of candy! In relationships we would never make a big deal about it and go on a huge romantic date. But this year I just want to vomit. Everywhere I look there is pink and red hearts, or somebody talking about their big day with their gf. Even at work last night, I had guys coming in planning for their big date. I guess it's just making me realize how single I am, and how much I still miss J.

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Edmonton to go visit a friend for a few days. It's Reading Break and there is no way I could afford going to Mexico (like everybody in my classes... or so it seems), but at least I get to go away and hopefully have some fun! However, I'm still going to have to bring my books to study for midterms I have after the break. The world is evil!

PS: Want to make your own hearts? Go here!

Year In Review

I saved this questionnaire to fill out and totally forgot where I got it from. But here it is!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Is it sad that I cannot think of one single thing? Obviously on my list of New Years Resolutions for 2009!!

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t make any last year, but a friend made one for me. It was to stay away from The Ex and not go back! It wasn’t really that hard considering I had no interest in him, and had just met J, but she made it anyways! I made one in the last question but maybe I’ll make a list.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My old dance teacher did, and a girl from that dance class is due to pop any day now. But nobody close to me, no. An old friend of mine is pregnant, but I don’t get to see her that often (lives in a different province).

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Fortunately, nobody did.

5. What places did you visit?
I went to Vancouver in February for a Reading Break trip, and twice in August (once for a wedding). I went to Edmonton twice. I went once in May for a Wedding, and again in September for my birthday. I was supposed to go to Mexico, but I guess it doesn’t count if I didn’t actually get to go!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Money. A lasting relationship. A tropical vacation

7. What day from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My friend’s weddings for obvious reasons, a couple of days with J, and the day in November when Barack Obama was elected President.

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Saving enough money to pay a semester of school.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to save enough money and pay off my credit card.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I slammed my finger in the door, badly bruising it. It is still growing out 5 months later. Happily, that is it except for the occasional cold.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A new camera!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My friends, family on the most part.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Some of my friends and family members had their moments, my government’s behaviour, and my own on occasion.

14. Where did most of your money go?
What money? School, gas, dinners out, camera

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My friend’s weddings, Mexico (while the trip was on), seeing Reba and Kelly in concert

16. What songs will always remind you of 2008?
Womanizer – Britney Spears (big comeback!)
If I Were A Boy – Beyoncé (my relationship with J)
Mercy - Duffy

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder
b) thinner or fatter? About the same, I think?
c) richer or poorer? Richer. Which is quite sad if you were to have a look at my bank account!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Camping, spent more time with friends, and just left the house more often.

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2008?
The morning was spent with my family and having a turkey lunch, and the afternoon/evening was spent at work.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes. However, we all know how that turned out.

22. What are your three favourite photos of 2008?
It’s hard to pick 3 favourites, so I’ll pick some from memorable events.

Kelly Clarkson, Reba McEntire, Melissa Peterman (aka Barbra Jean!)


Wedding in Edmonton

Wedding in Vancouver


23. What was your favourite TV program?
Jon and Kate plus 8! Those kids are so adorable. I actually didn’t watch a lot of TV this year.

24. What did you do for your birthday in 2008?
I went to Edmonton with my parents, and saw Reba and Kelly Clarkson in concert with my mom.

25. What was the best book you read?
I just realized that I read a lot of books this year. There was a lot of downtime at one of my jobs! I really liked Pillars of the Earth and the sequel World Without End by Ken Follett.
I got the Twilight series for Christmas, and those books are supposed to be good but I haven’t started them yet.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I rediscovered how awesome Pink is with her new album Funhouse. I also learned this year that I don’t dislike all metal music.

27. What did you want and get?
A new camera. A new job. A boyfriend.

28. What did you want and not get?
To keep that relationship (do you se a theme developing!), my own vehicle

29. What were your favourite three films this year?
The Dark Knight, Sex and the City, Marley and Me

30. Did you make some new friends this year?
I made some new work friends, but not everyday friends that I hang out with IRL.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A better paying job or winning the lottery

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Wear things that fit. I wore a lot of jeans, sweatshirts and jackets.

33. What kept you sane?
Caffeine and sugar.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The US Presidential Election. Although having our government shut down was unusual.

35. Who did you miss?
My Grannie. All my friends who moved away.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
There is a bunch of people at my new job. They’re really great.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
I have learned that you cannot control anything other then your own actions and reactions. Learning to accept that fact is for another year!

I want my strawberry.

I seem to be going through 3 different phases.

Phase 1: Being mad at J. In this phase I think of every thing that annoyed me about him, and every reason why I can't be with him.

Phase 2: Missing J. In this phase I think of all the good times, and how much I still care about him.

Phase 3: Indifferent. In this phase I don't even think about him. At all.

I don't spend more time in one or the other. They seem to just alternate days. It's kind of weird. I didn't go through this with The Ex. I just went from liking him, to realizing I didn't anymore. Sure there was anger and missing him, but it didn't switch on a daily basis. It was more a gradual slide from one thing to another.

I wasn't thinking about him at all today, until a co-worker asked if I had a "boy toy" to go to a movie with. Then phase 1 set in. Even when we were together, those last few months he wasn't around to do things like that with. I knew what I was getting into when he told me he was taking that job, but I guess I didn't realize how alone I would be. Especially since he hates using the phone, and they have no internet out there. I should have known what was going to happen. But I guess I have learned from the experience, and have figured out what else I want out of a relationship.

One of my friends refers to guys in terms of vanilla and chocolate. Vanilla boys are good boys, easy to figure out, and set in their ways. Chocolate boys are wild, full of surprises, and not good for you (but you want them anyways!). The ex was vanilla. In many ways he was a challenge, but overall pretty vanilla. J was chocolate. What I need is the mixture. The compromise. Something not as daring as chocolate, but not as simple as vanilla. What I need is the strawberry!

Looking for a strawberry. Do I sound crazy to anybody else?

Party Time

Well the snow has finally fallen, and it looks like it's going to stick. We had a major dump last Friday and it has been freezing cold ever since. It looks beautiful outside, because the sky is blue and the sun is shining. However, the frost on the inside of the door tells the real tale! To get the dog out the sliding door takes herculean strength!

Yesterday came and went without any fanfare. I thought I'd be in rough shape but instead I killed time watching movies, before going to my Christmas party. Either I've come to terms with it all, or I'm in extreme denial. I really couldn't tell you! J comes home today. I know I'll probably never hear from him again, but it doesn't keep me from checking my phone every 10 minutes like a crazy person. I feel so conflicted. I know I'm not going to bother calling him because it's not worth my time, but if I don't hear from him I'm going to be pretty bummed out. I honestly don't know how other people understand me. I baffle myself most days! I guess it's true, that girls really don't know what they want. Ever. And in the unlikely case that we were to ever figure it out, I'd count on it changing within 24 hours.

Anyways, for our party we went bowling and then hit up BP. I walked out of the party with gargantuan sunglasses and a whoopee cushion courtesy of my Secret Santa. It provided 5 minutes of entertainment but now I'm stuck with some crap I don't know what to do with. I got somebody a gift card for Timmys (which by the way I got a free hot chocolate when I went in to get it! Score!), which they can actually USE! Oh well. The night was overall pretty fun. Some of my favourite people didn't show up, but most of them were there so I can't complain!

At the end I got a stocking filled with stuff from my bosses. I loved what they wrote in my card. "You're an amazing addition to the team. Are we able to purchase more of you at Wa.lmart?" You wish! In my stocking there were a couple of gift certificates, a bunch of chocolate, and a pair of black socks. I laughed at that. I got the obvious hint, but I'm sure most people won't understand. I do work with some very special people, in that regard.

New camera, new year

Yesterday I went out and bought myself a new camera.

I found out this morning that my parents were planning on getting me one for Christmas. Oops. I guess that's why you're not supposed to buy yourself things before the holidays. I feel bad, but I needed to do a little shopping therapy. And I really love my new camera! :)

I have heard of a couple of people doing a 365 picture project. I was thinking of starting one in January and take one picture each day of 2009. I think it would be cool to see a whole year of my life in pictures. And since it's so close to a new year I thought I would start it then. So much can happen in a year. It'll be fun to see it!

Speaking of things that can happen in one year...
I found out my work Christmas party is on the 15th. That's the exact day my Christmas party was on last year. AKA the day I met J. It really bums me out, but I'm determined to have fun that night and not dwell on the coulda-woulda-beens. Well, try not too. The people I work with are great and should help keep my mind off of it.

I'm off to drag out the Christmas decorations, and bust out my chocolate Christmas countdown. Too bad the chocolates are teeny tiny. I could use some serious chocolate therapy now that I've exhausted my bank account on top of everything else!

What am I supposed to do?

Why do I fall for guys I can't be with?

He's not here most of the time.
We don't have a lot in common.
I feel sometimes that I'm at the bottom of his priority list.

But still, I miss him like crazy. It's not fair.

Holiday Spirit?

I've decided to decorate my blog and get into the holiday spirit, even though I haven't had much to be cheery about lately.

My family is no longer going to Mexico after Christmas, due to family reasons. An uncle of mine has been diagnosed with cancer, and my Aunt Crazy has gone off and outdone herself. I'm pretty bummed, but I totally understand why we're not going. I just hope my uncle is okay. As for my aunt, well ... that's a long story.

I haven't heard from J in over two weeks. He left for work without a word to me, and I haven't heard from him since. He was supposed to come home 2 days ago. I haven't tried calling him. I guess I should try doing that today. I don't really know what I'm going to say to him. I'm not even really sure what happened to make him go AWOL. I am so mad/hurt, yet indifferent at the same time. I'm tired of his excuses and empty promises.

Work on the other hand has been good. I've been told by most of the managers that I am awesome, and they're really happy with me. Yay! The Christmas party is in a couple of weeks, and I'm looking forward to it. The people are all really great (well most of them), so it should be fun hanging out with them outside of work.


ETA: J and I just broke up. He referred to it as more of a break, but I can't see us working things out in the near future. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I knew it was coming, but I'm still kind of surprised. I know I'm going to miss him, no matter how mad he used to make me. We had a lot of fun.

Ever just have one of those days...

So much for my stellar lunch plans. Our restaurant is closed on Sundays! I wanted to cry. We ended up going somewhere else but it just wasn't what I wanted. We ran into my parents on the way out of the restaurant. They were on their way to dance lessons. My parents are so cute learning how to dance after 30 some odd years of marriage. I guess the people they knock over don't think it's as great, but I love it!

Work today was awful. It was one of those days where at the end of your shift you just want to slam your head into something. Uuuuuuugh. However, my boss did stop by to tell me I was doing a good job, and that she really likes me! Yay for me being awesome!

J might or might not be going back to work tomorrow. His other option is Friday. I hope he waits until Friday because then I get to hang out with him more! With me being a morning person and him a definite night person, I'm surprised we even see each other at all when he's home. But just wait until ski season starts! pffft I'll be lucky if I see him before spring!

If she doesn't scare you...

At work tonight I saw the real life version of Cru.ella de Vil. She had a long angular face, big crazy hair, and the most enormous fur jacket I have ever seen. And I'm pretty sure she was intoxicated. It's an interesting thing, working with the public. You just never know who/what you're going to encounter!

My feet hurt. There once was a time where I could stand on them for a whole day without a second thought. However, those days are gone! I'm sure they will return, but for now I am sitting with my feet up and seriously considering hunting down the foot bath and lathering on generous amounts of peppermint lotion. Yes, it's the middle of the night. No, I don't care.

Tomorrow I have lunch plans with J (that is some serious devotion on his part, getting up for me before 3!) at our new favourite restaurant. It's an all you can eat Mongolian grill and it's quite delicious. And filling. The last time we went I felt I didn't need to eat again for a week. MMM! I'm excited just thinking about it. :)

Date with J

Yesterday, J and I went and knocked around some golf balls on the driving range. I was doing pretty good at first, but towards the end I had trouble hitting the ball. I think I just wore myself out. My arm muscles got quite the work out, but it's my back muscles that are sore today. J says that's from when I missed the ball.

After golfing, we went back to J's place and he made dinner. I love having a boyfriend who likes to cook! I'm not very good at it myself, so it's nice to have somebody else to do it for me.

Unfortunately for me, J got called back to work today. He's filling in somewhere for a week. After that he might come home, or he might get called somewhere else for 2 weeks. I am always really bummed out when he leaves. I just got used to having him around again, and he had to leave. :(

Training and Shootouts

I got the job! Yay!

Apply Saturday, Interview Sunday, Hired Monday, Online Training Tuesday/Wednseday, Training Wednesday.

I've been a busy girl!

J is back from the island. His schedule has been screwed around and they don't know when they're going back to work. I'm happy because that means I get to see him! I thought I'd only get to see him one day before he had to take off again.

Last night we went on a double date to the hockey game. It was pretty fun. I realized I hadn't been to a hockey game since high school. Our team lost, but it went into overtime shootouts so we got our money's worth.

Interviews & Pumpkins

I have an interview tomorrow.

I don't want to go to an interview (I really don't like them), but I need a job and that is how I'm going to get it! At least I know the girl who is doing the interview. Well, I kind of know her. I know who she is. It's a start.

I feel like I've spent most of this year looking for a job and less time actually having a job. It sucks.

In other news, I've discovered we have a pick your own pumpkin patch in town! I never knew this before! I am totally going. Now I need to find friends who think this is as awesome as I do! I'd drag J, but he's still off surfing (as of last night he hadn't frozen and drowned yet.) I guess I could wait until he gets back. He'll love it. Well ... if he likes me at all he'll learn to love it!

TGIF!

Well, waffle night was a complete success! They were so yummy, and most importantly they looked like waffles! I'm so good at making dinner, I should do it more often. But then again I'm sure people would get sick of Grilled Cheese and Prego Spaghetti (my specialties). I need to learn how to cook for reals!

J called me yesterday, and he might get to come home early! Yay! But then he told he's probably going to the Island to try his hand at surfing. Boo! Hopefully he's not planning on being away his whole time off. I didn't think of asking. I'll probably hear from him later today, and I'll have to inquire.

I have a breakfast date this morning, and a dinner date tonight. I just have to find myself a lunch date, and I won't have to feed myself once!

Birthday Weekend

I've had a busy weekend!

For our birthdays (which are side by side), my mom and I went to Edmonton and saw Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson in concert. Awesome. We were in the 4th row, and those two ladies can SIIIIIIIIING! It was my mom's first concert, so that was exciting. She was so cute singing along to all the Kelly songs she knows.

Tonight I finally met J's family. None of them are like I pictured. I had a good time, and wanted to steal their dog. Hopefully they liked me too! (I've always had the suspicion that the ex's dad didn't like me. I'm pretty sure he thought I was a moron, just by the way he acted around me.)

I work tomorrow. I haven't worked in a week so it kind of sucks. I'm not in the mood for it! I start later, which probably means I don't get off until later. Boo. I'd rather work early then late. Oh well. At least I still have a job. I won't for long, because they have to lay me off for the winter season.

Missing out.

I'm so mad/frustrated/just plain bummed out.

I purposely didn't go to my big staff party because I knew it was the first night J was home and I wanted to hang out with him more then I wanted to go to the party. Then I talked to J today and he has a friend's birthday tonight and we might hang out 'later' but probably not. I was a little annoyed, but not mad at him about it. He didn't know about my party, and I didn't know it was his friend's birthday. It's what you get when there is no service where he's working.

I decided to go to a movie and not completely waste my night. My brother asked for a ride to his friend's place but I turned him down at first. I'm sick and tired of playing chauffeur for him. He never returns the favour. Then I felt guilty and changed my mind since I was heading up there anyways to go to a movie. However, by the time we picked up his entourage (that I didn't know about until we were in the car) and made it to their destination, my movie had already started.

So here I am at home. Doing nothing.

Dogs and Drinking

It's been an interesting couple of days.

Sunday, I got home from work to find that my dog Mackenzie wasn't doing very well. He wasn't walking (seriously favoring one of his front legs), and when I went in to check on him he didn't even lift up his head or acknowledge me in any way. He couldn't even go outside by himself, we had to carry him. I was really worried about him.

On Monday, we brought him to the vet right when it opened. The vet wasn't actually going to be in for another hour so I sat by the phone waiting, and my parents went to work. I was in the mindset where we were going to have to put him down. It turns out he sprained his ankle and was in a lot of pain. Once he was given some pain killers he perked right up and was back to causing trouble. I can not even begin to explain to you how relieved I am. He's my baby. I'm so glad he's okay.

That afternoon, my brothers and I went golfing. We discovered there is one thing in this world that we do not excel at. And that is golfing. Good thing there was nobody behind us. It took us almost 3 hours to get through 5 holes. That's really really terrible! It was my brother G's birthday, so afterwards we met up with our parents at a Greek restaurant for dinner. There was so much food I nearly exploded, and had to take most of it home.

J happened to call while we were waiting for our food, but I couldn't really talk to him in the middle of the restaurant. I was bummed because I didn't know when I'd hear from him since he started working nights again. I got a message from him this morning, but haven't actually gotten to talk to him.

In big news, my friend is officially home from Afghanistan! He drove in last night. I invited him out for dinner tonight but he said he'd have to get back to me. A bunch of his army buddies want to meet him at the armories for drinks. Apparently it's a big deal or something that he made it home from war. *shrugs*
I'm kidding! Of course it's a big deal, but I want him to come get drunk with me! I think the decision is obvious. Which would you rather: Going out with a hot chick like me, or drinking with a bunch of dudes?

I know. I'd pick the second one too. ;)

Time sure is flying...

I'm tired.

I've been having dreams lately where I have been running around performing tasks or playing superhero, and I having been waking up exhausted. I'm always way more tired when I wake up, then when I go to bed. I must flail in my sleep and tucker myself out.

J was here last week, but left on Tuesday back for Alberta. I worked most of the time he was here, but we did get to spend all of Sunday together. I've decided I really don't like having him away for 2 weeks at a time. I know I'm lucky he isn't gone for months at a time, but I'm still going to grumble about it.

It's my brother's birthday on Monday. I think we're going to go golfing (the other brothers might join us) before we go out with our parents for dinner. We haven't had a big family dinner in awhile. Should be fun. It also means my birthday is right around the corner! Yay!

In exciting news my friend is due home from Afghanistan on Tuesday! I believe he's already in Canada, but he has to drive him car home across the country. I'm going to be so happy to see him. I've promised him a night of drinking, and drink we will! After I scream his head off and give him a big fat hug of course!

Quickie

Quick update, because I know I won't be updating for awhile.

First of all I'm working 2 jobs for the next two weeks. Gone are the days where I wasn't even working one job! Either nobody wants you, or everybody wants you! Figures.

Second of all, J is coming home today!! He's home all week! Too bad I work 99% of the time he's here. :(

I just can't win!

PS: How is it September already?! I'm glad I'm taking the fall semester off. I am not ready for school to be here yet!

Out of town boyfriend

I talked to J twice today! This morning, he called me while I was checking out of my hotel. He asked me how the wedding went and after that he lost service. Stupid cellphones.

Tonight, he decided to climb up on the roof of some building because he wanted to talk to me for more then one minute! Have I mentioned he is all kinds of crazy? Good thing I like me a little bit of crazy! Anyways, his plan worked and he gets better reception up there on that roof. However, about 5 minutes into our conversation I heard, "CRAP. My battery is going to die!"

That was the end of our conversation. The boy will climb buildings, but can not charge his cellphone.

Do you see what I have to put up with?! ;)

August Update

This month has been pretty busy for me. I started my new job on the 1st. I work four days, and then am off for four days. It's a pretty good deal. This month I've been lucky enough for it to work out so I have weekends off.

Last weekend I went to Vancouver for my friend's birthday. This weekend I'm going back for her wedding! I can't believe one of my friends is getting married. It's exciting!

J decided to go work with his room mate on the rigs in Alberta. He decided this on Wednesday. I was gone Thursday to Sunday. He left Monday. From what he told me before he left, he works 2 weeks, and then is off for 1 week. I talked to him for a bit last night, but the reception was horrible and I only caught pieces of sentences. Then we got disconnected. Hopefully he'll find land line soon, so we can have a real conversation. Then again boys are idiots and he probably won't think of that. I miss him.