Mackenzie.

I've been so busy, I promise to update about school and moving and everything. Just not tonight.

I talked to my mom today. It's her birthday but she didn't have the best of days. And one reason has to do with Mackenzie.

I went home last Friday, and when I got there my parents were taking him to the vet to get looked at. He hadn't been walking well for a few days and it was just getting worse. The vet gave them some pills but told them he has lost a lot of muscle in his back legs. Being a large dog this is a huge issue. It was really hard for me to say good bye and come back here, not knowing if he was going to get better or if I would see him again.

Today my mom told me he's getting worse and it's not looking good. He's dragging his back legs and the vet thinks it might be neurological. I knew this was coming but I still don't want it to happen. He's my baby. They haven't made any decisions yet, but I can't imagine if he's as bad as they are saying that they will wait until after Thanksgiving. I'm so glad I got to see him last weekend.

I hate that I'm not there. I hate that this is happening at all.

It's breaking my heart.

T-minus 4 days

I've been horribly neglectful of this blog. I promise to try and do better when I'm back in school.

Speaking of which, I am moving on Monday. 4 more sleeps. That's insane to me! When did it suddenly become September and time for me to move/start school?! I've been trying to get most of my packing done before the weekend because I'm planning to barely be at home over the next 3 days (as well as tonight). Things to do, people to see! Tonight I have dinner plans, and then I'm off to poker night with some of my old coworkers. I've never been very good at poker but none of these people really play either so we'll be evenly matched! Should be fun.

I'm starting to get really nervous about leaving. I know I'll be fine once I get there and get settled but the in between part kind of scares me. What are my room mates gonna be like? What are my classes going to be like? Am I going to like Kelowna? And of course the big one, how am I going to afford this? I know it'll all work out and things will fall into place. But until then I'll continue to have freak out moments about how I'm going to do this!

Evacuation Alert

The doorbell rings around 3am. Who is it but our friendly neighbourhood police notifying us of a fire in the next subdivision and that we're on evacuation alert. My brothers and I have been running around packing photos, important documents, etc and making a mental list of what to throw in the car if it changes from an alert to an order.

I think we have most things ready to go if need be. It's hard though. What do you take? Obviously things that aren't replaceable but aside from those things. I just keep thinking of more things that would be nice to have if I have the time to take them. What would you take?

I'm going to try and go back to sleep. If I don't get evacuated I still have to go to work tomorrow... err.. today. Story of my life.

UPDATE: It's now 10:30am, and the 50.0 hectare fire is about 80% contained. The winds are now working in favour of the firefighters.

Stressball

I haven't been sleeping well the past few nights. I toss and turn, lie awake for hours, and wake up way too early. This tends to happen when I'm stressed out. This morning after a strange dream involving vampires and wizards who could transform into werewolves (yes I'm reading H.P. and yes T.lite is still at the theater), I decided to give up on trying to sleep and laid in my bed thinking/stressing. Today's topic: moving. I have never lived on my own. I haven't lived in a different house since I was 10. I only know one person in Kelowna. Everybody says you adjust really fast and because I'm at school making friends will be easy. And I know they're all right. But it doesn't stop me from freaking out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited. I'm glad I'm doing it. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around actually doing it. I'm not really the type to venture out on my own and explore new worlds (yes I just recently watch S.trek). It amazes me that I planned this at all. In some ways I'm very independent, but in others I'm very much a follower. I like having someone else make the plans and to be there with me to carry them out.

This makes me think of something my mom has always said. Be happy with yourself first because you're the one you're stuck with for the rest of your life. She means this in terms of relationships but it works for this too. Nobody else can do this for me. I'm stuck doing it myself. With myself. By myself. For myself.

Time to throw on my big girl panties.

Beach Bums

Today was fun but exhausting. My friend S and I took her kids out to the lake where we hung out at the beach and played some mini golf. We even stopped by a waterfall and a playground on the way home. B was hilarious at mini golf. I'm sure if there were other people on the course we would have been thrown out! His "putt" resembled more of an attack than an actual putt. He just loved chasing that ball around with his putter and when he got tired of trying he would pick it up and put it in the hole. I followed his lead after awhile: forgot how bad I am at mini golf. I just have to say kids tire me out! I don't now how S does it all day every day. I'm just beat! But they sure are cute.

Taking Flight

On Saturday Adam flew into town and my mom and I got to go flying with him! We flew up over SunPeaks, around to Chase, and back to town. It was freaking awesome. I thought I'd be scared in the little plane but it really wasn't bad at all. Adam passed all his tests and is just waiting on graduation and paperwork before he can go off and get a job. I'm really happy for him, he seems to love it. I think it would just be sweet to be able to say, "Yes, I am a pilot."

Grandma

My Grandma died this morning. She hasn't been doing well for the last few months but this past week she had what they think was a minor heart attack and a stroke. My dad flew out on Wednesday to be with her. I wish I had gotten to know her better. I haven't seen her since I was 6. I'm sad obviously, but not in the same way I was when my Grannie died. I wasn't close with my Grandma but she was still a part of my life and I'll miss her.